I will preface this by saying: I haven’t had coffee for 3 days, and I just couldn’t help myself.
You know who annoys the crap out of me?
That’s right – men. They’re big and loud. They scratch and fart. They take up more than their share of privilege in the world. They rarely have intuition about things and they never have to go through menstruation or pregnancy.
In fact, men annoy me so much that I would be much happier if I did not ever have to encounter them in public.
Next time I go to the grocery store and I see a man, I am going to find the manager and complain. Don’t even get me started if I hear one talking in a restaurant!
I think there should be more places out there that ban men altogether – I know my life would be much happier that way.
You know what else would make my life happier?
If all coffee shops and convenience stores banned people who pay with change. That is so annoying! They take too long – they hold up the line. Sometimes they require the cashier to do math.
I mean, if you’ve got it right there in your hand that’s one thing, but most people have to dig around for it in those little purses, and it just makes me want to grind my teeth in anger!
If we stopped allowing them, I would stop having that problem!
And oh my goodness – women who talk! Why do they have to talk to me? Why do they have to talk at all? I don’t like their voices, or the way they look, or the people they’re talking to.
Ugh – where is the place with women-who-talk-free shopping hours so I can head there and get my groceries in peace?
You know, the more I think about it, the more I realize how many types of people annoy me. There should be rules set in place to keep these types out of my life:
- People who chew gum
- People who have cell phones
- People who walk too slowly
- People who ride bikes
- People who drive
- People who wear perfume
- People who might stop suddenly in front of me
- People who block doorways
- People who talk to me on planes
- People who wear clothes I don’t like
- People who are not the same ethnicity as I am
- People who are disabled
I’m sure I could come up with quite a few more, but this would be a good start. I am definitely going to start making my complaints known loud and clear to all the middle management of the land – I am sick and tired of all these annoying people disrupting my life!
What’s that you tell me? Those places can’t ban all those types of people? That’s called discrimination?
But they annoy the crap out of me!
You’re telling me that in order to be human and live among others in society, I just have to put up with all of this??
Well that just sucks.
I guess I should be happy that at least all those bratty kids don’t even count as people, because no one’s calling it discrimination to ban them from all those places.
I guess it’s a start…
Disclaimer: The above post is sarcasm.
Normally, I like to look on the bright side of things…but this whole trend towards ‘Kids are annoying so let’s hide them’ just drives me batty sometimes. I know kids can be annoying and it can seem frustrating when parents don’t seem to be able to ‘control’ them – but what I wonder is why they seem to stand out among all the other annoying people out there (and having worked in customer service for over 10 years, I can tell you there is no shortage of insanely annoying people out there).
It seems like everyone – even parents – loves this ‘reason’ the most: I don’t want to go out and pay for a nice meal only to have a screaming brat ruin my entire night. OK, fair’s fair and I can see that.
But you know what? I’ve gone out for a nice meal and had an incredibly rude server ruin my night. I’ve gone out for a nice meal and had badly cooked food ruin my night. I’ve gone out for a nice meal and had loud, annoying, rude people sitting at the table next to me ruin my night. People wearing too much perfume and cologne, people who are drunk and disruptive, people who smoke, the list goes on.
And yet, I have no right or ability to change any of these things for the most part.
It’s called life.
Personally, if my child is freaking in a restaurant, I will do my best to remedy the situation or remove her from it. But if someone else sitting next to me chooses not to do that and it really bothers me, well, I’ll just have to chalk it up to one more annoyance of being a person, rather than calling essentially all children the scourge of the devil and insisting that they be removed from my sight.
Mr. and Mrs. Hate Children & Don’t Want Them Anywhere, I have two questions for you:
1. Do you have any conception of the fact that you were once a child yourself, and that your mother and father may have actually needed to (gasp!) take you out in public every so often?
2. If you don’t care about that, do you think there’s any way that you’ve ever annoyed anyone else to the point that you should have (according to your own standards) been asked to leave their presence? (And if you say no to that, let me remind you that at one point you were also, in fact, a teenager).
Now, I’m sure this little rant isn’t going to do much to change anyone’s mind, but it sure made me feel better.
And that’s who it’s all about, right?